Two Christmas tales
by O.J.Coupland
The Marauding red eyed
Goblin.
Being the first part of the Christmas
tales.
Around the Victorian era
there was a boy related to *Robert Cocking.
After Roberts accident
his money went to the boy's family.
They weren't rich but
they had enough shillings to by a bleak old house!
When the boy's Pater got
a new job as a clerk, they went mad with excitement and joy, they were so
amazed and happy in fact that they paid to go to The Royale one of the most fashionable
and popular restaurant.
As they sat down onto
their comfortable, varnished and velvet chair,
The waiter attended to
they're very commandments. This is what they ordered:
Two glasses of mulled
wine,
one glass of small-beer,
a plate of pickled pear,
smoked salmon and caviar.
The waiter gave them the
precise food that they ordered.
While the Cockings were
eating some of the most lush foods on earth, a diabolical mob of villains were
plotting to rob the Royale!
The criminals kicked
down the back door that led into the greasy kitchen and caved in the most of
the chef's faces!
Then they crashed into
the carpeted dining room and shot or injured everyone and rapidly clonked to
the till.
There was more than 1000
pounds in there!
But there was one.
There was the boy of the
Cocking family he was still alive, but there was a change in him.
He felt different...He
felt mad, insane!
He ran away out of the
city in to the starry forest of Mueth where he became black and red eyed he
grew a beard and started wearing Norse like clothes and created his own
religion full of magic then he named himself the marauding red eyed goblin the
wizard of the animals for he would command them at times.
Then one day he felt the
pain of his parents’ death he never forgave those villains.
He ventured out into
north of Canada.
He marched into the
black mines where he found skeletons full of maggots and slugs!
The rocky floor became
uneven. Crunchy. Murky.
He was deep underground
by now and standing by a huge chasm a creaking, oily gate was at the end of it
but there was no bridge.
The marauding red-eyed
goblin stooped, ran and leaped!
He reached the gate
slipped!
Grabbed one of the
greasy bars and staggered up onto the earthy ledge Took a sigh of relief.
Then chanted some
strange words did an uncanny jig then thrust his arms.
Immediately the gate
crashed down marauding red-eyed goblin hopped to one side the gate fell and
bounced down the chasm!
* Robert Cocking (1776 – July 24, 1837) was the developer of an
early unsuccessful parachute design
and the first person to be killed in a parachuting accident.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Cocking
Then he briskly stomped
down the stony path but as he ran He saw gargantuan rows of vermin filled
skulls, at last he got to a dead end.
In the middle there was
a light a commanding light a selfish light.
He stumbled nearer and
nearer he tried to swipe at the light but did not catch it but then he found
out that the light was coming from a crystal a pure white crystal he pulled and
pulled it but it did not budge he loosened his and started his return journey.
At that very moment the
crystal shot out of the rock and hit him on the back it then dropped
comfortably into his hand.
There was something fishy
in the air.
Suddenly the skulls
turned to him and squirted poison at him!
For he did not know that
the crystal was full magic and enchantment, ages before a shaman had locked it
away!
Meanwhile the marauding
red-eyed goblin was running for his life with the crystal in a pocket near his
breast.
He skidded because he
had reached the chasm!
He sprang onto the cave
ceiling just like a spider he crawled to the other end of the chasm and dropped
down then leaped to the opening but then another catastrophe happened, the
skeletons staggered towards him.
But then he felt that he
had do something, a thing to help him get out of this dreadful place!
He struggled to find his
pocket he pulled out his mighty crystal!
A radiant light shone
out he covered his eyes with the palm of his hand!
When he resolved there
was no skeletons only ash.
He stumbled out of the
mines with a lot of relief.
While the marauding red
eyed goblin was raving around Canada killing animals Santa got a message from a
messenger snow gnome that saw a little cottage with red lights streaming out of
every crack and window with sound of screaming and crying.
It was because the man
was a farmer and the marauding red-eyed goblin was trying to free the animals.
And the snow gnome was
warning Santa that he could be killed by the goblin for he owned Rudolph, Blitzen,
dancer and all the others!
Santa ordered an ice elf
to get one of his reindeer ready to venture out into Canada.
So that evening he clink
clonked out into the wilderness of Canada!
It was midnight now and
pitchy!
He was eating a
wholesome mince pie and his reindeer was munching on a snippet of grass.
He finally came to the
grotto of mother nature, his daughter, he kicked on the hatch that was placed next
to a big oak tree he tied the reindeers rope to the tree so the reindeer wouldn’t
run away.
He heard some footsteps
and a groan.
The hatch opened and a
young beautiful lady looked up, she cracked a smile "Oh father how
wonderful it is to see you again!"
"It is wonderful to
see you too! Now may I come in?"
"Yes! Yes! Come in
come in!"
She gladly let Santa
come in.
As he crept in he saw
what a wonderful grotto she had.
It had stone stairs,
with a window at each side with a ledge candles sat on these ledges, this
staircase led into a room with three round tables by three paths that went into
different rooms.
Santa sat down by one of
the tables and the girl got him a bottle of ale from another room when she got
back they settled down.
"So how's jack
still down in New York?"
"Yup, still laying
down the frost"
"You know what jack
frost, you and me are the only members of the Christmas Society, well except
from that thanksgiving elf but he's really annoying!
And humans have to eat
farmed Christmas dinners. We want a magical and delicious Christmas
supper!"
"This is
true."
At that moment they
heard an agonizing laugh!
And then:
"Ha ha I'm coming
I'm coming to maraud you aaaaa haaa!"
"What was that
father?" said the girl.
It's the thing I’m
looking for!"
They ran out in to the
winter air, Santa's reindeer was gone.
A red-eyed figure leaped
out of the trees with a red axe and a staff with a white crystal on top.
Mother nature, or Moru ,
bent the trees and smashed the marauding red eyed goblin onto the ground Santa
clenched him by the neck and carried him like that all the way to his mountain.
He showed him that the
animals were cunfy and content at his house and there was no need of killing
people who own animals for Moru would take care of them after all.
Then Santa interested
the marauding red-eyed goblin in a job!
So if he would hunt all
the turkeys and staggs with his staff and axe Santa would give him a grotto in
Norway, give him magic every week, and food.
The marauding red eyed
goblin thought long about this in fact he thought about it for a year!
But in the end he accepted
the offer and now he lives calmly and happy in Norway!
The end of part one.
A Disastrous Christmas.
Being the second part of the
Christmas tales.
There was a black sledge
riding by magic to Santa's mountain, Mt Grenga. No person rode within the
sledge.
When it entered the
mountain snow gnomes and ice elves ran away in fear!
Finally it reached the
top of the mountain where Santa stood firmly.
"Thy
business?" asked Santa.
A dark figure formed in
the seat of the sledge but it did not make any sound at all.
It only held out a hand,
then faded away. As the figure vanished a scroll appeared and dropped to the
ground.
Santa picked the scroll
up and walked away.
As he turned away into
his grotto he looked back at the sledge but the sledge was gone.
When Santa sat down by
the warming fire he started reading the scroll. This is what it read:
My dearest Nicholas Claus I am sad to
inform you that you were never real queen Victoria just made you up your just a
mad person who has a huge imagination.
Sighned Enneth, the Demon King.
Deep in the mountain,
Santa cried…………
He
staggered to bed, lay down and screamed himself to sleep…
He
dreamed of how the snow gnomes and ice elves would ban him from the Christmas
Society when he came across the thought of the other St Nicks that had been!
Because
of the Clauses long-life power everyone had forgotten about the other Santas.
He
was Santa Claus IX so there were eight more. If they were only alive he would
have evidence to prove he was real.
But
how would he be able to bring them back to life?
Meanwhile
Enneth the demon king was lurking in his cave kingdom.
He
knew that Santa was actually real but he also knew that Santa would not be able
to find evidence to prove himself.
When
Santa was kicked out by the ice elves Enneth would be able to march into Mt Grenga without fear of the ice elves,
they were no match for the demons. He would stop Christmas forever, he hated
Christmas.
Jack
Frost was skating through the sky across New York sprinkling frost over Central
Park. He looked back. A dark creature was following him.
His
pursuer grabbed his ankles and bashed him against a tree three times.
"Hey take it easy!" screamed
Jack.
"Never!"
replied the demon!
Jack
thrust his arm towards the demon's ugly head; a bolt of ice froze its face. The
grip on Jack’s legs loosened, then the head rolled off the neck of the demon
and smashed into a window that belonged to a teenage girl. Jack giggled and
flew away.
Santa
was looking up into the sky unusually he saw two ice skates then six legs!
And
then : Jack Frost, Moru and the Marauding Red-Eyed Goblin!
They
were all smiling except Marauding Red-Eyed Goblin of course (His real name was
Theodore).
They
landed.
"We
heard the news! Damn that Enneth "said Moru.
“And
we also have something to tell you too" said Jack.
They
walked inside Mt.Grenga and sat down on their chairs by the narrow table. A Snow
Gnome came in with some turkey and sprouts.
The
Marauding Red-Eyed Goblin/Theodore refused, "I am only here to discuss
matters with the Lord of Grenga!"
He
turned to Santa and bellowed "Santa! I do not want to eat I want talk with
you! So if I may I shall start: back in Norway I was being hunted by a
dastardly, angry brute. Although I shot him with my bow and arrows, the thought
of him has haunted me ever since".
Santa
replied "I can assure you my loyal friend that there will be much more of
them in the future”.
For
you see Enneth the Demon King sent out three demon assassins to kill you all
because he is trying to destroy Christmas. For he hates Christmas so much.
"But how are we going to prove your claim?" Asked Moru.
"I suggest we should send out some Snow Gnomes led by all of us
into the cave kingdom, I have heard that after the Snow Gnomes kick you out
Enneth will march in and take Grenga for granted!
“And it's only a limit of time till this happens!"
"Let it be then. You and Theodore will ambush them in the Black
Mines while Moru orders the trees and plants to take a secret tunnel through
the Black Mines to surprise them from the behind while I will take care of the
presents."
Then some Ice Elves came and showed them to their rooms.
A short time later Santa was abed. There was a knock on the door.
"Come in"
Moru appeared from behind the door, she sat down by Santa, asking : "Do
you think there could be a more easy way of doing this?"
"Well not really, Oh hang on....But….No, it's gone…"
"Ha ha!
“Father you are always forgetting things. Maybe I can help you, give me
your hand."
There was uncanny rumble. He felt that he fell into a dream and he had, he
had just fallen asleep!
Moru, well she was in Santa's memory!!
She could see all types of shapes and creatures, and she figured them
all out, they resolved into a landscape within The Lord of Grengas Mind. She
flew on psychic wings across this geography. Finally she came to a huge tower
that dug into the Earths core and rose above the water level. But the water did
not touch the tower it waved round it.
On top there was a huge horn mounted on a pivot of diamond.
Santa needed to blow this horn for some reason. Nevertheless it was his
destiny.
Suddenly Santa woke up and Moru awakened from the trance.
"I saw it too! "said Santa.
The next morning Santa called a council with : Shim the head elf, Jack, Moru and Theodore.
"Jack, Theodore, Moru, you will go along as we planned but I have
some more important business to attend to so Shim here will take my
place."
Santa was ready for his journey. He rode off by himself in his canoe
through the Vazg River while the others readied them selves for battle. Moru
rode off to the Black Mines leading all her friends, the flora and fauna of the
far north, many kinds of bears, wolves, lynxes, caribou, staggs, and behind
stomped the trees and crept the poison ivy.
While the snow gnomes started marching to the black mines let us turn to
Shims part of the story. He hurried to the naughty and nice emerald, a device
for monitoring the wellbeing of the children of the world. He saw many lovely
children doing good deeds, he thought about how he would have to deliver and
make a present for every single child.
Theodore was trudging along to the one place he probably hated the most
however he was excited about the battle on the other hand. Jack was shaking
with fear it was night and they were setting up camp in the entrance of the
mines.
Half way through the night they heard marching about two yards away they
had forgot that the demons walk at night. Jack skated at top speed to Moru to
warn her that the war would start in five minutes!
But it had already started! Theodore had led the snow gnomes into the
demons he was slashing and mashing the demon's faces into one another. One hour
later Jack and Moru appeared and injured all the demons!
Unfortunately Enneth rose up into the air and created a gigantic
explosion that teleported our heroes plus every snow gnome and tree to the
dungeons in his cave kingdom.
It was Christmas Eve. Shim was nervous and frightened. He was leading
Rudolph in front of all the other reindeer. He was about to get into the sledge
when he looked back to the river Vazg in love of Santa.
Then he gathered up his courage and rode off into the air.
As he flew over Mexico a demon swooped down onto the back of the sledge.
It leaped onto the front seat, Shim hopped into the bag of toys but the demon
grabbed his belt and flew away with Shim, the sledge fell into a big crater.
Santa was now entering the Beaufort Sea, he was very bored by now and
wondering how he could hasten the journey. He shut his eyes and chanted a
spell.
When he opened his eyes the canoe was breaking through thick ice.
Finally got to the exact spot where he was supposed to be but there was
nothing there. He was very concerned. Suddenly he and the ice were swept into a
whirlpool. A tall tower rose out of the sand of the seabed hundreds of fathoms
below. At the top was a horn mounted on a diamond pivot, at the bottom was a brass
door with eight faces engraved on it.
He opened the door, he looked up into the tower there were more than
3000 spiralling stairs.
When he got to the top of the tower puffing like a grampus, he blew the
horn. Vigorously a green gas filled the air. Eight figures formed.
"We are the eight Spirit Santas. we know why you are here, come, we
must save you and your friends."
They grabbed his arms and flew away!
At the centre of the cave kingdom lay the deep dungeons slimy and
grotty, Shim was dropped roughly at the feet of Moru, Theodore and Jack, who
had just been teleported there and had been trying to plan an escape. A
sniveling wretch of a demon came and opened the dungeon doors.
"You are wanted in the court, mush!"
They were frogmarched to the cave court where presidents, emperors kings
and queens had been unceremoniously teleported to the chamber from their
palaces and stately mansions. They sat on wooden chairs, some still eating mince
pies that had been clutched in their hands as they were snatched away from the
bosom of their families by eldritch forces of the demonic overlord. President
Nixon was gnawing on a turkey, poor turkey. At the front was the council of the
demons and the judge was Enneth the demon king.
The little group of friends were chained down in the dock.
Enneth asked them particular questions like :
"do you believe you are real?
“how did you find the naughty/nice emerald?"
And the last one:
"were there any other Santa's?"
At that moment Santa burst into the court.
"May I introduce you to my eight witnesses!"
"We are the ghosts of the past Santas, Santa is real how else do
the children get their presents? From Santa of course!"
All the kings and queens started complaining to Enneth, then crawling
over him, he was literally trying to wrestle hundreds of them... He screamed
and cried as they roughly bustled him into his most horrid dungeon and pelted
him with rotten tomatoes. They promised to give Enneth the Key to his cell if
he could teleport they all back to finish their Xmas eve suppers, he did so but
they fooled him by giving him the key to the pantry. In his rage he screamed,
“Damn those creepy statesmen! I will just teleport them back in here
with me to face my wrath!”
But as he grasped his teleportation crystal he was too rough and it
splintered into a myriad of razor sharp fragments that lacerated his leathery
carbuncled palm.
All the other demons were put in a trance by Moru to go and live in
holes in Greenland. They were much more useful there as they hunted year round
to supply fish suppers for Santa and all his little helpers.
Shim turned to Santa and said,
"We’ll never be able to deliver all the presents we haven't got the
sledge!"
"I can track it down!"said Moru.
"and the ghosts can bring us to it"said Santa.
So everything went to plan. The children got all their presents and
everything went back to normal.
On Christmas day they all feasted late into the night to celebrate their
victory and to commemorate the birth of little baby Jesus while the animals and
trees were dancing around the fire.
The End
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